John 20:30-32

The whole of chapter 20 of John is when the women close to Jesus & His disciples discovered that Jesus had risen from the dead. Then you come down to the last two verses in the chapter:

Jesus provided far more God-revealing signs than are written down in this book. These are written down so you will believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and in the act of believing, have real and eternal life in the way he personally revealed it.

The resurrection is the crux of Christianity. Very few people doubt that Jesus actually lived since history reveals this truth more than many others (for more info regarding this, http://www.creatingfutures.net/evidence.html, is an good resource) we freely believe. Where the big dissension lies is in the resurrection. The big argument is not over if Jesus was a really great guy who lived life here on this earth, the big debate is over if Jesus is God.

Scripture here is clear in the claim that Jesus is God and offers eternal life for those who believe.

Thank You Jesus that You are God and that You did willingly leave the glories of heaven to come to earth to show me a better way, to suffer and die for my sins. Praise You that You did rise from the grave. Thank You for giving me eternal life. Help my life to be impacted by this truth, may my life please You today and every day.

John 19:19b-42

They took Jesus away. Carrying his cross, Jesus went out to the place called Skull Hill (the name in Hebrew is Golgotha), where they crucified him, and with him two others, one on each side, Jesus in the middle. Pilate wrote a sign and had it placed on the cross. It read:

jesus the nazarene
the king of the jews.

20-21 Many of the Jews read the sign because the place where Jesus was crucified was right next to the city. It was written in Hebrew, Latin, and Greek. The Jewish high priests objected. "Don't write," they said to Pilate, "'The King of the Jews.' Make it, 'This man said, "I am the King of the Jews."'"

22 Pilate said, "What I've written, I've written."

23-24 When they crucified him, the Roman soldiers took his clothes and divided them up four ways, to each soldier a fourth. But his robe was seamless, a single piece of weaving, so they said to each other, "Let's not tear it up. Let's throw dice to see who gets it." This confirmed the Scripture that said, "They divided up my clothes among them and threw dice for my coat." (The soldiers validated the Scriptures!)

24-27 While the soldiers were looking after themselves, Jesus' mother, his aunt, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene stood at the foot of the cross. Jesus saw his mother and the disciple he loved standing near her. He said to his mother, "Woman, here is your son." Then to the disciple, "Here is your mother." From that moment the disciple accepted her as his own mother.

28 Jesus, seeing that everything had been completed so that the Scripture record might also be complete, then said, "I'm thirsty."

29-30 A jug of sour wine was standing by. Someone put a sponge soaked with the wine on a javelin and lifted it to his mouth. After he took the wine, Jesus said, "It's done . . . complete." Bowing his head, he offered up his spirit.

31-34 Then the Jews, since it was the day of Sabbath preparation, and so the bodies wouldn't stay on the crosses over the Sabbath (it was a high holy day that year), petitioned Pilate that their legs be broken to speed death, and the bodies taken down. So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first man crucified with Jesus, and then the other. When they got to Jesus, they saw that he was already dead, so they didn't break his legs. One of the soldiers stabbed him in the side with his spear. Blood and water gushed out.

35 The eyewitness to these things has presented an accurate report. He saw it himself and is telling the truth so that you, also, will believe.

36-37 These things that happened confirmed the Scripture, "Not a bone in his body was broken," and the other Scripture that reads, "They will stare at the one they pierced."

38 After all this, Joseph of Arimathea (he was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly, because he was intimidated by the Jews) petitioned Pilate to take the body of Jesus. Pilate gave permission. So Joseph came and took the body.

39-42 Nicodemus, who had first come to Jesus at night, came now in broad daylight carrying a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds. They took Jesus' body and, following the Jewish burial custom, wrapped it in linen with the spices. There was a garden near the place he was crucified, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been placed. So, because it was Sabbath preparation for the Jews and the tomb was convenient, they placed Jesus in it.

The Crucifixion. Breaks my heart every time I read it. Jesus suffered so much and I know He did it for me. He did it for all of us but since I live in my body I'm most aware of how unworthy I am yet He still suffered and died for me.

How can I ever thank You enough dear God for what You've done for me?! Thank You so much Jesus that You suffered and died for me so that I can live eternally with You.

It also strikes me as I read this, that in verses 24-27, Jesus notices details in the life of His beloved. There He is in great agony and suffering, in these epic moments suffering for the sins of all mankind, and He still takes time to make sure His earthly mother is going to be cared for. Scriptures tell us repeatedly that Jesus is the image of God; so what does this tell me about God? That even though He's busy handling the universe and a lot of really important stuff, He still has time for me! He is concerned with us. I'm reminded of that verse in Psalm 56:8:

You've kept track of my every toss and turn
through the sleepless nights,
Each tear entered in your ledger,
each ache written in your book.

It's such an incomprehensible Truth that the God of the Universe should leave glory and come and die on my behalf. That He should be concerned with my feelings. But repeatedly scripture tells me that He is. I am so grateful beyond words.

Oh Father, may my gratitude overflow into a life where You are in the driver's seat and where I live for You. Today help me see You in my life and be appreciative for what You do, help me see ways to be kind and helpful to others and serve others. May my life be characterized by loving you and loving people.

John 19:1-19

1-3 So Pilate took Jesus and had him whipped. The soldiers, having braided a crown from thorns, set it on his head, threw a purple robe over him, and approached him with, "Hail, King of the Jews!" Then they greeted him with slaps in the face.

4-5 Pilate went back out again and said to them, "I present him to you, but I want you to know that I do not find him guilty of any crime." Just then Jesus came out wearing the thorn crown and purple robe.

Pilate announced, "Here he is: the Man."

6 When the high priests and police saw him, they shouted in a frenzy, "Crucify! Crucify!"

Pilate told them, "You take him. You crucify him. I find nothing wrong with him."

7 The Jews answered, "We have a law, and by that law he must die because he claimed to be the Son of God."

8-9 When Pilate heard this, he became even more scared. He went back into the palace and said to Jesus, "Where did you come from?"

Jesus gave no answer.

10 Pilate said, "You won't talk? Don't you know that I have the authority to pardon you, and the authority to—crucify you?"

11 Jesus said, "You haven't a shred of authority over me except what has been given you from heaven. That's why the one who betrayed me to you has committed a far greater fault."

12 At this, Pilate tried his best to pardon him, but the Jews shouted him down: "If you pardon this man, you're no friend of Caesar's. Anyone setting himself up as 'king' defies Caesar."

13-14 When Pilate heard those words, he led Jesus outside. He sat down at the judgment seat in the area designated Stone Court (in Hebrew, Gabbatha). It was the preparation day for Passover. The hour was noon. Pilate said to the Jews, "Here is your king."

15 They shouted back, "Kill him! Kill him! Crucify him!"

Pilate said, "I am to crucify your king?"

The high priests answered, "We have no king except Caesar."

16-19 Pilate caved in to their demand. He turned him over to be crucified.

Perhaps one of the most powerful movies ever made was Mel Gibson's "The Passion". That movie made these scenes real for me. Verse 1 saying that Pilate had Jesus whipped doesn't sound like a lot until you have a mental picture of what that meant; and the movie "The Passion" gave me that terrible and graphic picture. That cruel whipping pains me to the core. So frequently when I'm praying in the evenings with my sons and thanking God for all He's done for us that picture comes to my mind. I am SO GRATEFUL to Jesus. He suffered for me and I NEED His salvation. He knew exactly what He was doing and did it all for us. When Pilate tries to encourage Jesus in verse 10 to work with him so he can make it better for Jesus, Jesus is so clear that He understands that this is all part of a bigger plan, that Jesus being ultimately crucified is God's work.

Oh once again Jesus I'm overcome with gratitude for what You did for me. You suffered so unfairly and so awfully for me. Thank You Jesus. Thank You so very much! I appreciate my salvation and what You did for me. Thank You that Your blood covers my sins. May Your goodness make me live a better life. There's that part of me that wants to become "good enough" in response to what You've done - but we both know I can't get there. Thank You that Your blood dear Jesus makes God see me as good. May I let You empower me to be who You want me to be today. I thank You for Your patience with me. Help me to be patient with myself and others.

That movie "The Passion" also helped me get a better grasp on Pilate's tough situation. He's ruling in another country, not his homeland, and he doesn't want the people he's ruling to get so upset that they uprise and then there has to be a military force getting them back into order that creates the bloodshed of both the Jews and his soldiers. Interesting that yet again it is Jesus' blood that is shed to avoid the price of others' blood shed.

It seems that there is an application for me in these actions of Pilate. His actions were fear based. I don't want to live like that. I want to trust God and do what is right; not compromise due to very real fears.

Oh Father, help me understand what You want each day. Help me not be presumptuous but help me get the main picture so that I can act obediently. Help me be strong in You and the power of Your might and not give into fear. Thank You for Your armor to protect me. Even now I put on Your armor. Starting with the belt of Truth; may I live my life honestly today and remain in the truth of Your word. When situations arise help me remember Your word that applies to those situations. I now put on the breastplate of Righteousness; I thank You Jesus that Your blood makes me righteous. May I remember that it is by Your blood dear Jesus that I am righteous today. Please empower me to live in a right way so that I don't create my own problems today. I put on the helmet of salvation; thank You Father for Your salvation. May my mind be bathed in the truth of the fact that because of Jesus I am saved. May I not listen to anything different the enemy may say in any way to me today. I take up the shield of Faith; I put my faith in Your faithfulness to me. Thank You heavenly Father that I can always count on You. May I remember this truth and use this shield when I need it. I take up that offensive weaponry of the sword of the Spirit; may I use Your word against the enemy when issues arise. May I be on the alert today and remain open to Your Holy Spirit working within me and through me. I put the gospel of peace on my feet; may peace go with me wherever I tread today. May I spread the gospel in various ways in whatever I do today. Thank You for Your armor God and thank You that You make me ready and able.

Acts 17

I want to spend one more day in Acts 17 before I go back to where I was in John. Yesterday I focused on how the last part of the chapter showed how effectively Paul shared the gospel. Today I want o look again and notice other things. Today I want to think a bit more about what Paul actually said to the people in Athens about God. I want to focus on verses 24 - 34:

24-29 "The God who made the world and everything in it, this Master of sky and land, doesn't live in custom-made shrines or need the human race to run errands for him, as if he couldn't take care of himself. He makes the creatures; the creatures don't make him. Starting from scratch, he made the entire human race and made the earth hospitable, with plenty of time and space for living so we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find him. He doesn't play hide-and-seek with us. He's not remote; he's near. We live and move in him, can't get away from him! One of your poets said it well: 'We're the God-created.' Well, if we are the God-created, it doesn't make a lot of sense to think we could hire a sculptor to chisel a god out of stone for us, does it?

30-31 "God overlooks it as long as you don't know any better—but that time is past. The unknown is now known, and he's calling for a radical life-change. He has set a day when the entire human race will be judged and everything set right. And he has already appointed the judge, confirming him before everyone by raising him from the dead."

32-34 At the phrase "raising him from the dead," the listeners split: Some laughed at him and walked off making jokes; others said, "Let's do this again. We want to hear more." But that was it for the day, and Paul left. There were still others, it turned out, who were convinced then and there, and stuck with Paul—among them Dionysius the Areopagite and a woman named Damaris.

I always need to come back to who God is and Paul does a great job here. He starts out saying that it's God who made us, not the other way around. I know that he was saying this to the people in Athens because they had so many idols but for me, I need to remember this because the simple bottom line is that, since God made me He knows better than I. His ways are the best ways & I don't need to fuss about things.

He goes on to say that God "doesn't play hide-and-seek with us. He's not remote; he's near." I'm so grateful.

Thank You Father that You are near. That You, the creator of the universe, choose to be near to me. Thank You so much. Help me remember to keep You in the drivers seat today.

The 30-31st verses are a call to action even to me today: " "God overlooks it as long as you don't know any better—but that time is past. The unknown is now known, and he's calling for a radical life-change. He has set a day when the entire human race will be judged and everything set right. And he has already appointed the judge, confirming him before everyone by raising him from the dead."

I can't just go along living like everyone else, my life must be God's way. Then Paul talks about the day when Jesus will judge us. I've always wondered how this judgment works for Christians. I went over to gotquestions.org to find out more on this topic. This is a website where people can ask bible questions and a group of bible trained volunteers look up the answers. The head of the site, S. Michael Houdmann, possesses a Master's degree in Christian Theology from Calvary Theological Seminary and a Bachelor's degree in Biblical Studies from Calvary Bible College. So I found the following at that site about "the judgment seat of Christ", or how Believers will be judged:

" Romans 14:10-12 says, “For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat…so then, each of us will give an account of himself to God.” 2 Corinthians 5:10 tells us, “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.” In the context of both Scriptures, it is clear that they are referring to Christians, not unbelievers. The Judgment Seat of Christ, therefore, involves believers giving an account of their lives to Christ. The Judgment Seat of Christ does not determine salvation; that was determined by Christ’s sacrifice on our behalf (1 John 2:2), and our faith in Him (John 3:16). All of our sins are forgiven and we will never be condemned for them (Romans 8:1). We should not look at the Judgment Seat of Christ as God judging our sins, but rather as God rewarding us for our lives. Yes, as the Scriptures say, we will have to give an account of our lives. Part of this is surely answering for the sins we committed. However, that is not going to be the primary focus of the Judgment Seat of Christ.

At the Judgment Seat of Christ, believers are rewarded based on how faithfully they served Christ (1 Corinthians 9:4-27; 2 Timothy 2:5). The things we will likely be judged on are how well we obeyed the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20), how victorious we were over sin (Romans 6:1-4), how well we controlled our tongue (James 3:1-9), etc. The Bible speaks of believers receiving crowns for different things based on how faithfully they served Christ (1 Corinthians 9:4-27; 2 Timothy 2:5). The various crowns are described in 2 Timothy 2:5; 2 Timothy 4:8; James 1:12; 1 Peter 5:4; and Revelation 2:10. James 1:12 is a good summary of how we should think about the Judgment Seat of Christ, “Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him."

Well, don't I feel overwhelmed! I can't fathom me getting any crowns when there's saints who will be there who have done so much for Christ, and even those who have been martyred for His name. What have I done for Christ?

Then again, I've always believed that I'm supposed to take life as it comes and seize the opportunities that God has put in front of me. That each of us has different lives. I don't know.

Father God, if there's something different/more or just something specific that You want me to do - show me. Help me not to miss it and empower me to do what You want.

A break from John (Acts 17:16-34)

I'm right in the climax of the book, what with it being right at Jesus' crucifixion, but I'm going to take a break from John today. Maybe I'll do this for a few days, we'll see. Sunday during the pastor's message, he asked us to meditate on Acts 17 this week. So I'm going to do that until I feel complete in meditating on Acts 17.

16 The longer Paul waited in Athens for Silas and Timothy, the angrier he got—all those idols! The city was a junkyard of idols.

17-18 He discussed it with the Jews and other like-minded people at their meeting place. And every day he went out on the streets and talked with anyone who happened along. He got to know some of the Epicurean and Stoic intellectuals pretty well through these conversations. Some of them dismissed him with sarcasm: "What an airhead!" But others, listening to him go on about Jesus and the resurrection, were intrigued: "That's a new slant on the gods. Tell us more."

19-21 These people got together and asked him to make a public presentation over at the Areopagus, where things were a little quieter. They said, "This is a new one on us. We've never heard anything quite like it. Where did you come up with this anyway? Explain it so we can understand." Downtown Athens was a great place for gossip. There were always people hanging around, natives and tourists alike, waiting for the latest tidbit on most anything.

22-23 So Paul took his stand in the open space at the Areopagus and laid it out for them. "It is plain to see that you Athenians take your religion seriously. When I arrived here the other day, I was fascinated with all the shrines I came across. And then I found one inscribed, to the god nobody knows. I'm here to introduce you to this God so you can worship intelligently, know who you're dealing with.

24-29 "The God who made the world and everything in it, this Master of sky and land, doesn't live in custom-made shrines or need the human race to run errands for him, as if he couldn't take care of himself. He makes the creatures; the creatures don't make him. Starting from scratch, he made the entire human race and made the earth hospitable, with plenty of time and space for living so we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find him. He doesn't play hide-and-seek with us. He's not remote; he's near. We live and move in him, can't get away from him! One of your poets said it well: 'We're the God-created.' Well, if we are the God-created, it doesn't make a lot of sense to think we could hire a sculptor to chisel a god out of stone for us, does it?

30-31"God overlooks it as long as you don't know any better—but that time is past. The unknown is now known, and he's calling for a radical life-change. He has set a day when the entire human race will be judged and everything set right. And he has already appointed the judge, confirming him before everyone by raising him from the dead."

32-34At the phrase "raising him from the dead," the listeners split: Some laughed at him and walked off making jokes; others said, "Let's do this again. We want to hear more." But that was it for the day, and Paul left. There were still others, it turned out, who were convinced then and there, and stuck with Paul—among them Dionysius the Areopagite and a woman named Damaris.

The first 15 verses basically tell about how Paul tried to preach Jesus and the hard line Jews of the day ran him out of town. Now the story picks up here in the 16 verse when Paul is in Athens.

One of the things that intrigues me here is how masterfully Paul presents Jesus. He isn't rude, he points out something positive that he and the people have in common; in verses 22-23 we see that he says that "you Athenians take your religion seriously". Then Paul works from something they know and can relate to; he has seen their shrine to an unknown God and uses that as a springboard to tell about the one true God, the creator of the universe who sent His son Jesus. It seems a good tactic - find something that you relate to with the people, and use an example to hook them in that they can relate to. He then goes on to say in verses 24-29 how even they recognize, that "One of your poets said it well: 'We're the God-created." Paul cares enough about these people to watch them, to see who they are and to present the gospel in a way that is respectful and meaningful to them.

Oh Heavenly Father, I see how bold Paul was. In earlier verses it said how he just talked to everyone. He loved You and had a desire to share You. Please give me a heart to share You more and help me see opportunities to do that. Help me not be so caught up in daily life that I miss those chances. Help me be wise and observant as He was too; help me get good at relating to people and using meaningful examples. Most of all Lord I know that it is You Who draws people to Yourself and help me always remember that. May I be useful to You and not detract from the gospel.

There is some more here so tomorrow I'll take a look at this again.

John 18

1 Jesus, having prayed this prayer, left with his disciples and crossed over the brook Kidron at a place where there was a garden. He and his disciples entered it.

2-4 Judas, his betrayer, knew the place because Jesus and his disciples went there often. So Judas led the way to the garden, and the Roman soldiers and police sent by the high priests and Pharisees followed. They arrived there with lanterns and torches and swords. Jesus, knowing by now everything that was coming down on him, went out and met them. He said, "Who are you after?"

They answered, "Jesus the Nazarene."

5-6 He said, "That's me." The soldiers recoiled, totally taken aback. Judas, his betrayer, stood out like a sore thumb.

7 Jesus asked again, "Who are you after?"

They answered, "Jesus the Nazarene."

8-9 "I told you," said Jesus, "that's me. I'm the one. So if it's me you're after, let these others go." (This validated the words in his prayer, "I didn't lose one of those you gave.")

10 Just then Simon Peter, who was carrying a sword, pulled it from its sheath and struck the Chief Priest's servant, cutting off his right ear. Malchus was the servant's name.

11 Jesus ordered Peter, "Put back your sword. Do you think for a minute I'm not going to drink this cup the Father gave me?"

12-14 Then the Roman soldiers under their commander, joined by the Jewish police, seized Jesus and tied him up. They took him first to Annas, father-in-law of Caiaphas. Caiaphas was the Chief Priest that year. It was Caiaphas who had advised the Jews that it was to their advantage that one man die for the people.

15-16 Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus. That other disciple was known to the Chief Priest, and so he went in with Jesus to the Chief Priest's courtyard. Peter had to stay outside. Then the other disciple went out, spoke to the doorkeeper, and got Peter in.

17 The young woman who was the doorkeeper said to Peter, "Aren't you one of this man's disciples?"

He said, "No, I'm not."

18 The servants and police had made a fire because of the cold and were huddled there warming themselves. Peter stood with them, trying to get warm.

19-21 Annas interrogated Jesus regarding his disciples and his teaching. Jesus answered, "I've spoken openly in public. I've taught regularly in meeting places and the Temple, where the Jews all come together. Everything has been out in the open. I've said nothing in secret. So why are you treating me like a conspirator? Question those who have been listening to me. They know well what I have said. My teachings have all been aboveboard."

22 When he said this, one of the policemen standing there slapped Jesus across the face, saying, "How dare you speak to the Chief Priest like that!"

23 Jesus replied, "If I've said something wrong, prove it. But if I've spoken the plain truth, why this slapping around?"

24 Then Annas sent him, still tied up, to the Chief Priest Caiaphas.

25 Meanwhile, Simon Peter was back at the fire, still trying to get warm. The others there said to him, "Aren't you one of his disciples?"

He denied it, "Not me."

26 One of the Chief Priest's servants, a relative of the man whose ear Peter had cut off, said, "Didn't I see you in the garden with him?"

27 Again, Peter denied it. Just then a rooster crowed.

28-29 They led Jesus then from Caiaphas to the Roman governor's palace. It was early morning. They themselves didn't enter the palace because they didn't want to be disqualified from eating the Passover. So Pilate came out to them and spoke. "What charge do you bring against this man?"

30 They said, "If he hadn't been doing something evil, do you think we'd be here bothering you?"

31-32 Pilate said, "You take him. Judge him by your law."

The Jews said, "We're not allowed to kill anyone." (This would confirm Jesus' word indicating the way he would die.)

33 Pilate went back into the palace and called for Jesus. He said, "Are you the 'King of the Jews'?"

34 Jesus answered, "Are you saying this on your own, or did others tell you this about me?"

35 Pilate said, "Do I look like a Jew? Your people and your high priests turned you over to me. What did you do?"

36 "My kingdom," said Jesus, "doesn't consist of what you see around you. If it did, my followers would fight so that I wouldn't be handed over to the Jews. But I'm not that kind of king, not the world's kind of king."

37 Then Pilate said, "So, are you a king or not?"

Jesus answered, "You tell me. Because I am King, I was born and entered the world so that I could witness to the truth. Everyone who cares for truth, who has any feeling for the truth, recognizes my voice."

38-39 Pilate said, "What is truth?"

Then he went back out to the Jews and told them, "I find nothing wrong in this man. It's your custom that I pardon one prisoner at Passover. Do you want me to pardon the 'King of the Jews'?"

40 They shouted back, "Not this one, but Barabbas!" Barabbas was a Jewish freedom fighter.

First off, I have tears streaming down my face as I read this. I can't read about these things and not feel pain. My savior suffered this way for me. He was treated so unfairly. He was not recognized by this world.

This also brings the question to my mind; do I always recognize Jesus? Does He have his place of immanence, of which He is oh so worthy, at all times?

Jesus' word in verse 11 hit me: Jesus ordered Peter, "Put back your sword. Do you think for a minute I'm not going to drink this cup the Father gave me?" Jesus knew His mission and He didn't turn aside for a moment. He was here on earth to die for me and everyone else. What a hero.

The other thing that hits me is what Jesus told Pilate in verse 36: "My kingdom," said Jesus, "doesn't consist of what you see around you. If it did, my followers would fight so that I wouldn't be handed over to the Jews. But I'm not that kind of king, not the world's kind of king."

Over and over throughout the book of John I've fallen in love anew with Jesus. He is so simple and straightforward, not pretentious, so real and powerful and good. His ways are simple but not easy. But His ways are all there is in this world that really matters. His ways are not the ways of this world. I'm reminded of that verse, 1 Peter10:11-12: Friends, this world is not your home, so don't make yourselves cozy in it. Don't indulge your ego at the expense of your soul. Live an exemplary life among the natives so that your actions will refute their prejudices. Then they'll be won over to God's side and be there to join in the celebration when he arrives. In the NASV it actually uses the phraseology that we are "aliens and strangers". The point being that this world and it's culture and what it stands for is not where are hearts are at. We are people of Jesus' Kingdom which transcends this world.

Ephesians 2:1-6 talks about our new life, where we belong as followers of Jesus:

It wasn't so long ago that you were mired in that old stagnant life of sin. You let the world, which doesn't know the first thing about living, tell you how to live. You filled your lungs with polluted unbelief, and then exhaled disobedience. We all did it, all of us doing what we felt like doing, when we felt like doing it, all of us in the same boat. It's a wonder God didn't lose his temper and do away with the whole lot of us. Instead, immense in mercy and with an incredible love, he embraced us. He took our sin-dead lives and made us alive in Christ. He did all this on his own, with no help from us! Then he picked us up and set us down in highest heaven in company with Jesus, our Messiah.

We are here on this earth living, but our citizenship is in Jesus' Kingdom. Right now, until He returns and sets up His Kingdom here on earth to reign, His kingdom is in Heaven.

Oh dear Jesus, I love You. My heart overflows with gratitude for all You've done for me. I know beyond any doubt that I deserve to be done away with, that of myself I'm certainly not worth all You've done for me. Words can never thank You enough for all You've done. I adore You; You're so great. I love Who You are; You're clear, purposeful, good through and through, powerful, kind, just and courageous. I want to follow You. Help me let You change me into the person You want me to be. Let me see Your vision as I go through my life today and live it Your way. Oh please never let me be all about me - empower me to be all about You.

John 17

The entire 17th chapter of John is a prayer by Jesus:

1-5 Jesus said these things. Then, raising his eyes in prayer, he said:

Father, it's time.
Display the bright splendor of your Son
So the Son in turn may show your bright splendor.
You put him in charge of everything human
So he might give real and eternal life to all in his charge.
And this is the real and eternal life:
That they know you,
The one and only true God,
And Jesus Christ, whom you sent.
I glorified you on earth
By completing down to the last detail
What you assigned me to do.
And now, Father, glorify me with your very own splendor,
The very splendor I had in your presence
Before there was a world.

6-12 I spelled out your character in detail
To the men and women you gave me.
They were yours in the first place;
Then you gave them to me,
And they have now done what you said.
They know now, beyond the shadow of a doubt,
That everything you gave me is firsthand from you,
For the message you gave me, I gave them;
And they took it, and were convinced
That I came from you.
They believed that you sent me.
I pray for them.
I'm not praying for the God-rejecting world
But for those you gave me,
For they are yours by right.
Everything mine is yours, and yours mine,
And my life is on display in them.
For I'm no longer going to be visible in the world;
They'll continue in the world
While I return to you.
Holy Father, guard them as they pursue this life
That you conferred as a gift through me,
So they can be one heart and mind
As we are one heart and mind.
As long as I was with them, I guarded them
In the pursuit of the life you gave through me;
I even posted a night watch.
And not one of them got away,
Except for the rebel bent on destruction
(the exception that proved the rule of Scripture).

13-19 Now I'm returning to you.
I'm saying these things in the world's hearing
So my people can experience
My joy completed in them.
I gave them your word;
The godless world hated them because of it,
Because they didn't join the world's ways,
Just as I didn't join the world's ways.
I'm not asking that you take them out of the world
But that you guard them from the Evil One.
They are no more defined by the world
Than I am defined by the world.
Make them holy—consecrated—with the truth;
Your word is consecrating truth.
In the same way that you gave me a mission in the world,
I give them a mission in the world.
I'm consecrating myself for their sakes
So they'll be truth-consecrated in their mission.

20-23 I'm praying not only for them
But also for those who will believe in me
Because of them and their witness about me.
The goal is for all of them to become one heart and mind—
Just as you, Father, are in me and I in you,
So they might be one heart and mind with us.
Then the world might believe that you, in fact, sent me.
The same glory you gave me, I gave them,
So they'll be as unified and together as we are—
I in them and you in me.
Then they'll be mature in this oneness,
And give the godless world evidence
That you've sent me and loved them
In the same way you've loved me.

24-26 Father, I want those you gave me
To be with me, right where I am,
So they can see my glory, the splendor you gave me,
Having loved me
Long before there ever was a world.
Righteous Father, the world has never known you,
But I have known you, and these disciples know
That you sent me on this mission.
I have made your very being known to them—
Who you are and what you do—
And continue to make it known,
So that your love for me
Might be in them
Exactly as I am in them.

Oh wow; as I read this I am so humbled. Here Jesus is about to go to the cross and His desire and earnest plea is for His followers. I can read here that God has such good things for me and I know I'm so undeserving!

Oh Father, I thank You that You're heart is for me and that You want my good. Thank You so much Jesus that You dies on the cross for me; that You make it now so that God sees me as clean and acceptable. I thank You Father that You chose me to be Yours; I don't understand all that this means but I am just grateful before You now. Thank You Jesus. Praise You and Thank You.

There is a persistent theme here about love. It's like Jesus can't stay away from it. He obviously wants so much for His followers to love one another. He even says that this is what gives evidence/testimony/validity to the world that we're His followers and that He is real.

Of Father, I don't want to mess this up. There's some of Your followers that I can think of that I don't much like. I am shy and reserved and find it so hard to get close to people; for some reason I find it even more difficult here in this local church. But Father I recognize that it's not all about me. Please change my sinful mind and help me allow You to pour out Your love into my heart. Show me the ways to practically love people in my life today and each day to come. Thank You Father.

Kind of side note; but theologically this scripture shows that Jesus was with God before the world was created. Jesus says " And now, Father, glorify me with your very own splendor,
The very splendor I had in your presence
Before there was a world."

I like that phrase "truth-consecrated in their mission". I think of it in a few ways. Truth because Jesus is truth; His righteousness over us is real and true, His character is truth. Truth in that what we are about it Truth. We aren't here to tell stories or lies or give an image, but to be real and deal in truth. Truth in that we are to honest because there is a power in simple honesty.

Oh Father, it's so hard to be real and genuine. Please help me to speak the truth and be a real person. Even when it's inconvenient. Please put a guard over me and help me remember that your ways and honest and true and help me to walk only in Your ways.

Application

Talk about application. As I finished my devotional time this morning I felt God impress upon me to speak truth over my oldest son. So I sent him an email briefly explaining about my devotions and giving him a specific thing, a group of sentences, that I feel impressed to speak over him. Then the Lord brought to mind a verse and I wrote him that verse and prayed it over him as well. When I finished that I felt impressed to do something similar for my other two sons. Even though we live together, I still emailed them because the written word can be powerful. It was interesting because God gave me different things to say over each son and a different bible passage to pray over each of them.

How neat that God gave me such a practical way to apply what I saw in His word today.

John 16:31-33

Today I want to check out the verses that hit my heart as I'm reading through John in a few versions:

The Message
31-33 Jesus answered them, "Do you finally believe? In fact, you're about to make a run for it—saving your own skins and abandoning me. But I'm not abandoned. The Father is with me. I've told you all this so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured, deeply at peace. In this godless world you will continue to experience difficulties. But take heart! I've conquered the world."

New Living Translation
31 Jesus asked, “Do you finally believe? 32 But the time is coming—indeed it’s here now—when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. 33 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

Amplified
31Jesus answered them, Do you now believe? [Do you believe it at last?]

32But take notice, the hour is coming, and it has arrived, when you will all be dispersed and scattered, every man to his own home, leaving Me alone. Yet I am not alone, because the Father is with Me.

33I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration; but be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]

NIV
31"You believe at last!"^[a] Jesus answered. 32"But a time is coming, and has come, when you will be scattered, each to his own home. You will leave me all alone. Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me.

33"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

It's the 33rd verse that I want to focus on but I especially appreciate it in context; here Jesus is before his crucifixion, knowing that his disciples are gonna run away for safety and leave Him all alone. He's speaking the truth that although He will be without any humans the Father will be with Him, and He is encouraging His followers. You gotta love Jesus! Here He is thinking about being abandoned and what is His response? Speak out truth and encourage others. Wow - am I convicted.

Oh Father, your word is so clear on the power of our words. Please help me today to choose to speak truth. Help me also to really see those around me, please grant me insight into ways that I can encourage others.

Jesus is super clear in this 33rd verse; He's not promising anyone a life of ease. He is saying that without doubt life will be hard. The Amplified calls it "tribulation and trials and distress and frustration". Think of any times you encounter those in life? Yep! Praise God that He's not surprised and upset by it, He knew all along what was coming and told me that I don't need to let it get me down. I don't have to let it get me down because Jesus provides the solution to how to deal with these things, the Message says it this way: "so that trusting me, you will be unshakable and assured". I've got to trust in Him and then I won't be shaken and can live in assurance. Then Jesus goes on to say that, even though we will have troubles, we can, as the Amplified puts it: "be of good cheer [take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world. [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.]"

My heart sings when I read this and one word comes to my mind - Transcendence! He's saying we can rise above our troubles through Him! Anything this world gives us has no real power to harm us; we can live confidently with certainty and undaunted. I'm reminded of a fiction book that I read recently, Armageddon. This book is part of a series, so you feel like you really get to know the characters. In it a saint who I've been reading about throughout the series is killed because she refuses to take the mark. As I read the book I'm very moved by the fact that she is so at peace in the knowledge that what seems the ultimate victory of the enemy - killing her - is nothing because she will pass into eternity with God. It's really a matter of perspective.

Oh Father, help me have Your perspective today. Help me live my life Your way today. Thank You that You have overcome the world and that, because of You, I can be of good cheer today.

John 16:4-16

4-7 "I didn't tell you this earlier because I was with you every day. But now I am on my way to the One who sent me. Not one of you has asked, 'Where are you going?' Instead, the longer I've talked, the sadder you've become. So let me say it again, this truth: It's better for you that I leave. If I don't leave, the Friend won't come. But if I go, I'll send him to you.

8-11 "When he comes, he'll expose the error of the godless world's view of sin, righteousness, and judgment: He'll show them that their refusal to believe in me is their basic sin; that righteousness comes from above, where I am with the Father, out of their sight and control; that judgment takes place as the ruler of this godless world is brought to trial and convicted.

12-15 "I still have many things to tell you, but you can't handle them now. But when the Friend comes, the Spirit of the Truth, he will take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is. He won't draw attention to himself, but will make sense out of what is about to happen and, indeed, out of all that I have done and said. He will honor me; he will take from me and deliver it to you. Everything the Father has is also mine. That is why I've said, 'He takes from me and delivers to you.'

16 "In a day or so you're not going to see me, but then in another day or so you will see me."

It always comes down to Jesus. In verses 8-11 Jesus is talking about how the Holy Spirit will come and He says that He'll convict the world of their basic sin - failure to believe in Him. Then He goes on to say that righteousness comes from above.

In our world we see that things are not right, we want to make them so, but we don't know how to do it. Just this morning I was reading about Tupac the rapper. He fought against the social injustice and he wanted to usher in change, but he didn't know how. He knew that the ways things were was not right, but yet his life shows that he didn't know what right really was or how to get there. There was a stark beauty that attracted many in Tupacs honesty about the struggle. The word tells us that righteousness is only from God.

What an encouragement to my heart these words are! Because I too struggle with wanting things, other people and myself to be righteousness. Yet with God there is Hope and the change can start in me.

Oh Father, please change me. I don't like how I am. I am tired of my selfishness and anger. Help me to submit to You and let You work in my life today to produce righteousness in me.

John 15:1-17

1-3 "I am the Real Vine and my Father is the Farmer. He cuts off every branch of me that doesn't bear grapes. And every branch that is grape-bearing he prunes back so it will bear even more. You are already pruned back by the message I have spoken.

4 "Live in me. Make your home in me just as I do in you. In the same way that a branch can't bear grapes by itself but only by being joined to the vine, you can't bear fruit unless you are joined with me.

5-8 "I am the Vine, you are the branches. When you're joined with me and I with you, the relation intimate and organic, the harvest is sure to be abundant. Separated, you can't produce a thing. Anyone who separates from me is deadwood, gathered up and thrown on the bonfire. But if you make yourselves at home with me and my words are at home in you, you can be sure that whatever you ask will be listened to and acted upon. This is how my Father shows who he is—when you produce grapes, when you mature as my disciples.

9-10 "I've loved you the way my Father has loved me. Make yourselves at home in my love. If you keep my commands, you'll remain intimately at home in my love. That's what I've done—kept my Father's commands and made myself at home in his love.

11-15 "I've told you these things for a purpose: that my joy might be your joy, and your joy wholly mature. This is my command: Love one another the way I loved you. This is the very best way to love. Put your life on the line for your friends. You are my friends when you do the things I command you. I'm no longer calling you servants because servants don't understand what their master is thinking and planning. No, I've named you friends because I've let you in on everything I've heard from the Father.

16 "You didn't choose me, remember; I chose you, and put you in the world to bear fruit, fruit that won't spoil. As fruit bearers, whatever you ask the Father in relation to me, he gives you.

17 "But remember the root command: Love one another.

Gosh there's so much here that I don't know where to start.

I guess I'll just go on through from the beginning, thinking on what stands out to me.

I've got no idea what that whole thing is about God cutting out every branch that's in Jesus that doesn't bear fruit in verses 1-3. But I'll leave that for another day since I'm someone who wants to live for Jesus and I don't think that puts me in the totally non fruit bearing group.

Verses 5 - 8 talk about being connected to Jesus and living our lives that way so that, through our connection to Him, we can bear fruit. How can I in my daily life stay connected to Him? Time in His word, talking with Him, thinking about Him, putting Him first . . . . it always comes back to these things. Reminds me of saying in AA: It's simple but not easy. Understanding the concept is one thing, but actually doing it is another.

Oh Father, please help me stay connected to You. May I put You above all else in my life.

One theme in the rest of the verses here is about loving God and loving others. The implication is that if God's love is real in us, then we will love others.

Oh Father, I'm so selfish. Help me see ways to love everyone who is in my life today. Empower me to love when I can't. Thank You for Your love.

There's also that statement in the 16th verse about God choosing us that so many people get hung up on. Rather than getting into the idea about that meaning He didn't choose some people, I want to focus on how grateful I am that He chose me! I believe that we only have so much time and mental ability and I want to choose to focus in the right places and I believe that's where my focus needs to be on this topic.

Oh Father, thank You so much for choosing me!! I'm so acutely aware of how unworthy I am and I thank You Jesus for dieing for me and for interceding for me even now. I can never thank You enough.

John 14:15-31

15-17 "If you love me, show it by doing what I've told you. I will talk to the Father, and he'll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth. The godless world can't take him in because it doesn't have eyes to see him, doesn't know what to look for. But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!

18-20 "I will not leave you orphaned. I'm coming back. In just a little while the world will no longer see me, but you're going to see me because I am alive and you're about to come alive. At that moment you will know absolutely that I'm in my Father, and you're in me, and I'm in you.

21 "The person who knows my commandments and keeps them, that's who loves me. And the person who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and make myself plain to him."

22 Judas (not Iscariot) said, "Master, why is it that you are about to make yourself plain to us but not to the world?"

23-24 "Because a loveless world," said Jesus, "is a sightless world. If anyone loves me, he will carefully keep my word and my Father will love him—we'll move right into the neighborhood! Not loving me means not keeping my words. The message you are hearing isn't mine. It's the message of the Father who sent me.

25-27 "I'm telling you these things while I'm still living with you. The Friend, the Holy Spirit whom the Father will send at my request, will make everything plain to you. He will remind you of all the things I have told you. I'm leaving you well and whole. That's my parting gift to you. Peace. I don't leave you the way you're used to being left—feeling abandoned, bereft. So don't be upset. Don't be distraught.

28 "You've heard me tell you, 'I'm going away, and I'm coming back.' If you loved me, you would be glad that I'm on my way to the Father because the Father is the goal and purpose of my life.

29-31 "I've told you this ahead of time, before it happens, so that when it does happen, the confirmation will deepen your belief in me. I'll not be talking with you much more like this because the chief of this godless world is about to attack. But don't worry—he has nothing on me, no claim on me. But so the world might know how thoroughly I love the Father, I am carrying out my Father's instructions right down to the last detail.

"Get up. Let's go. It's time to leave here."

I'm so grateful for Jesus' gift to us, His followers, of the Holy Spirit! I'm so glad that I never have to be alone and bereft. Also of note here is that Jesus says that if we love Him we'll obey Him and that God will move into our lives and we'll be in His neighborhood and that Jesus says that this world is godless and the chief of it is the devil but that Jesus triumphs over Him. Wow. My time is short today but what awesome words to set me up for the day.

Oh Father, help me listen to Your spirit within me today. May I live in Your presence and obey You today. Thank You for Your spirit within me.

John 14:1-14

1-4 "Don't let this throw you. You trust God, don't you? Trust me. There is plenty of room for you in my Father's home. If that weren't so, would I have told you that I'm on my way to get a room ready for you? And if I'm on my way to get your room ready, I'll come back and get you so you can live where I live. And you already know the road I'm taking."

5 Thomas said, "Master, we have no idea where you're going. How do you expect us to know the road?"

6-7 Jesus said, "I am the Road, also the Truth, also the Life. No one gets to the Father apart from me. If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him. You've even seen him!"

8 Philip said, "Master, show us the Father; then we'll be content."

9-10 "You've been with me all this time, Philip, and you still don't understand? To see me is to see the Father. So how can you ask, 'Where is the Father?' Don't you believe that I am in the Father and the Father is in me? The words that I speak to you aren't mere words. I don't just make them up on my own. The Father who resides in me crafts each word into a divine act.

11-14 "Believe me: I am in my Father and my Father is in me. If you can't believe that, believe what you see—these works. The person who trusts me will not only do what I'm doing but even greater things, because I, on my way to the Father, am giving you the same work to do that I've been doing. You can count on it. From now on, whatever you request along the lines of who I am and what I am doing, I'll do it. That's how the Father will be seen for who he is in the Son. I mean it. Whatever you request in this way, I'll do.

I think it's interesting that Jesus said when talking to His followers that "whatever you request along the lines of who I am and what I am doing, I'll do it." He didn't say that they could have whatever they say or ask for or want, He said that they will have whatever they ask for that is along the lines of what He is doing.

Oh Lord, help me see what you are doing each day of my life, especially today. Please empower me to go through this day with an awareness of You and Your plans. Help me to ask along the lines of what You are doing, to be on board with You today.

John 13:18-38

18-20 "I'm not including all of you in this. I know precisely whom I've selected, so as not to interfere with the fulfillment of this Scripture:

The one who ate bread at my table

Turned on his heel against me.
"I'm telling you all this ahead of time so that when it happens you will believe that I am who I say I am. Make sure you get this right: Receiving someone I send is the same as receiving me, just as receiving me is the same as receiving the One who sent me."

21 After he said these things, Jesus became visibly upset, and then he told them why. "One of you is going to betray me."

22-25 The disciples looked around at one another, wondering who on earth he was talking about. One of the disciples, the one Jesus loved dearly, was reclining against him, his head on his shoulder. Peter motioned to him to ask who Jesus might be talking about. So, being the closest, he said, "Master, who?"

26-27 Jesus said, "The one to whom I give this crust of bread after I've dipped it." Then he dipped the crust and gave it to Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot. As soon as the bread was in his hand, Satan entered him.

"What you must do," said Jesus, "do. Do it and get it over with."

28-29 No one around the supper table knew why he said this to him. Some thought that since Judas was their treasurer, Jesus was telling him to buy what they needed for the Feast, or that he should give something to the poor.

30 Judas, with the piece of bread, left. It was night.

31-32 When he had left, Jesus said, "Now the Son of Man is seen for who he is, and God seen for who he is in him. The moment God is seen in him, God's glory will be on display. In glorifying him, he himself is glorified—glory all around!

33 "Children, I am with you for only a short time longer. You are going to look high and low for me. But just as I told the Jews, I'm telling you: 'Where I go, you are not able to come.'

34-35 "Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples—when they see the love you have for each other."

36 Simon Peter asked, "Master, just where are you going?"

Jesus answered, "You can't now follow me where I'm going. You will follow later."

37 "Master," said Peter, "why can't I follow now? I'll lay down my life for you!"

38 "Really? You'll lay down your life for me? The truth is that before the rooster crows, you'll deny me three times."

As I read this passage I'm impressed that God sees time differently than we do. He has a master plan and is above it all watching to ensure His plans happen, yet He is also with us - Jesus was here on earth living the plan and He gave us His spirit that lives in us. Jesus suffered betrayal, few things are worse than the pain of betrayal by one you love. My ex-husband cheated on me and I can't remember a deeper pain in my life than the shock of that betrayal. Then, not too long after this passage, Jesus suffered the enormous pain of the crucifixion. So we certainly do have a high priest Who can relate to our feelings.

But in this passage it strikes me that in one perspective things aren't going well - Judas is there among the beloved and he's betraying Jesus. Jesus lets Judas go and then what does He tell His disciples to do? Love.

I see this as the fact that God has a sovereign plan that we don't always understand and in the midst of it all it can get confusing so what do we do? Love.

Oh Father, I'm so selfish that I'm not even capable of love. You know me and how much I tend toward being all about me. Please work in me and change me and empower me to love in my life today. Every chance I get, help me to see real and practical ways to love the people that You bring into my life today. Thank You for Your love. Thank You Jesus for coming to earth for me. Thank You for showing me victory over the flesh, Thank You for dieing on the cross for me - Thank You Jesus. Thank You that You are my high priest and that you intercede with God on my behalf and that I can come to You and that You understand my feelings. Thank You Jesus.

John 13:1-17

1-2 Just before the Passover Feast, Jesus knew that the time had come to leave this world to go to the Father. Having loved his dear companions, he continued to love them right to the end. It was suppertime. The Devil by now had Judas, son of Simon the Iscariot, firmly in his grip, all set for the betrayal.

3-6 Jesus knew that the Father had put him in complete charge of everything, that he came from God and was on his way back to God. So he got up from the supper table, set aside his robe, and put on an apron. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the feet of the disciples, drying them with his apron. When he got to Simon Peter, Peter said, "Master, you wash my feet?"

7 Jesus answered, "You don't understand now what I'm doing, but it will be clear enough to you later."

8 Peter persisted, "You're not going to wash my feet—ever!"

Jesus said, "If I don't wash you, you can't be part of what I'm doing."

9 "Master!" said Peter. "Not only my feet, then. Wash my hands! Wash my head!"

10-12 Jesus said, "If you've had a bath in the morning, you only need your feet washed now and you're clean from head to toe. My concern, you understand, is holiness, not hygiene. So now you're clean. But not every one of you." (He knew who was betraying him. That's why he said, "Not every one of you.") After he had finished washing their feet, he took his robe, put it back on, and went back to his place at the table.

12-17 Then he said, "Do you understand what I have done to you? You address me as 'Teacher' and 'Master,' and rightly so. That is what I am. So if I, the Master and Teacher, washed your feet, you must now wash each other's feet. I've laid down a pattern for you. What I've done, you do. I'm only pointing out the obvious. A servant is not ranked above his master; an employee doesn't give orders to the employer. If you understand what I'm telling you, act like it—and live a blessed life.

What strikes me here is simple - if God can wash even the feet of the man who's in the process of betraying Him, I need to live my life looking for ways to serve others instead of catering to my needs/wants.

Yesterday I was talking to my husband John and he was saying something about promises in the bible to those who are righteous. Then he said how he falls down, gets God's forgiveness, gets up and then falls down again daily. But that, because of the blood of Jesus and God's mercy, he is counted as righteous. I needed to hear that because I fall down a lot too. My nature is against the ways of God. But I'm so grateful that His grace is big and His mercies are new every morning. One of my favorite verses (it's on the side here) is Lamentations 3:22-23:

God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!

Of Father, thank You for Your goodness and love and mercy. Thank You that You don't give up on me. Help me to have a servant's heart today.

John 12:35-50

Today I'm going to go ahead and finish this 12th chapter of John.

35-36 Jesus said, "For a brief time still, the light is among you. Walk by the light you have so darkness doesn't destroy you. If you walk in darkness, you don't know where you're going. As you have the light, believe in the light. Then the light will be within you, and shining through your lives. You'll be children of light."

36-40 Jesus said all this, and then went into hiding. All these God-signs he had given them and they still didn't get it, still wouldn't trust him. This proved that the prophet Isaiah was right:

God, who believed what we preached?

Who recognized God's arm, outstretched and ready to act?
First they wouldn't believe, then they couldn't—again, just as Isaiah said:

Their eyes are blinded,
their hearts are hardened,
So that they wouldn't see with their eyes
and perceive with their hearts,
And turn to me, God,
so I could heal them.
41 Isaiah said these things after he got a glimpse of God's cascading brightness that would pour through the Messiah.

42-43 On the other hand, a considerable number from the ranks of the leaders did believe. But because of the Pharisees, they didn't come out in the open with it. They were afraid of getting kicked out of the meeting place. When push came to shove they cared more for human approval than for God's glory.

44-46 Jesus summed it all up when he cried out, "Whoever believes in me, believes not just in me but in the One who sent me. Whoever looks at me is looking, in fact, at the One who sent me. I am Light that has come into the world so that all who believe in me won't have to stay any longer in the dark.

47-50 "If anyone hears what I am saying and doesn't take it seriously, I don't reject him. I didn't come to reject the world; I came to save the world. But you need to know that whoever puts me off, refusing to take in what I'm saying, is willfully choosing rejection. The Word, the Word-made-flesh that I have spoken and that I am, that Word and no other is the last word. I'm not making any of this up on my own. The Father who sent me gave me orders, told me what to say and how to say it. And I know exactly what his command produces: real and eternal life. That's all I have to say. What the Father told me, I tell you."

There are two sets of verses in this passage that I want to spend time thinking about as I start this day. The first one is verses 35-36. Jesus was on this earth, right in front of these people, and He was telling them that the light was among them and to walk in the light so that they don't become destroyed. But then He went on to say that if they choose to believe in the light that the light will within them and shine through their lives making them children of the light. I do believe in Jesus the light of the world, this means that His light is in me. On these verses John Gill said:

"that ye may be the children of the light; that is, that they might appear to be such who are enlightened persons; and such are truly so, who are made light in the Lord, or who are enlightened by the Spirit of God to see their own sinfulness, impotency, and unrighteousness, and their need of Christ, and his righteousness and strength, and of salvation by him; and who are made meet, by the grace of God, to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light; and which is made manifest by believing in Christ, and walking on in him, as they have received him, and by walking honestly, as in the daytime, and circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, for such walk as children of the light."

Oh Father may I walk in your light today. May I live wisely and make use of my time as You would have me. May my life please You this day. Thank You Jesus for leaving the glories on heaven to be here on earth for us, for me. Thank You for Your patience with someone like me. Thank You so much.

The second set of verses that I wanted to think on was verses 47-50. Jesus loves everyone and doesn't want any to perish. He's so clear here that He rejects no one but that He came to save the world. But then He says that people who put Him off are choosing rejection. I'm trying to grasp what this means to me in terms of sharing my faith. My husband John is really bold and, I confess that I sometimes think him pushy. One day we were out hiking at Yosemite and had come to a beautiful place where there was a small pool and waterfall and we saw no one about, so we decided to hang out there and enjoy the water and read and generally drink in the beauty. While there another couple came upon us. This couple was obviously Muslim because the woman had on one of those long, covering outfits with jeans and tennis shoes beneath. They were an attractive couple and he told John that he was in graduate school here. John just started sharing a bit of the gospel with them and gave the man a small new testament and challenged the man to read it. I felt embarrassed that John was insensitive and pushy. Later I asked John, why should the man want to read the new testament; all his life he has lived in and been taught his religion and he seems a very good guy. Plus America represents Christianity to him and Americans are somewhat anti Muslim right now. I said that perhaps it's only in relationship with Christians that he and his wife can be drawn to the gospel - not in being told to read the new testament. I've thought about this a lot because it could be on several levels that I was wrong. First off, and I told this to John, who am I to judge him - if the holy spirit prompts him to share than it certainly is not my place to second guess and so I'd asked John's forgiveness. But also, what about what John contended to me - this was highly likely the only time we would ever see these two people and Jesus is the only way to God so why not make an opportunity for Jesus and His word and let God do the work in the man's heart? As I read what Jesus says in these verses I see that it is ever so clearly delineated - every person can choose Jesus or not and He is the only way to salvation.

Oh Father, please grow within me a tender heart that cares about those who don't know You and show me ways to share You. You made me who I am; an introvert who basically rarely talks to anyone about anything. So please show me how someone like me, in my daily life, can share You. I think of all the places where I routinely come in contact with people - the middle school, high school, Daniel's football practice, occasionally neighbors - some of these people know You and some do not. Please show me what You want me to do and say to show these people Jesus.

John 12:20-36

20-21 There were some Greeks in town who had come up to worship at the Feast. They approached Philip, who was from Bethsaida in Galilee: "Sir, we want to see Jesus. Can you help us?"

22-23 Philip went and told Andrew. Andrew and Philip together told Jesus. Jesus answered, "Time's up. The time has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.

24-25 "Listen carefully: Unless a grain of wheat is buried in the ground, dead to the world, it is never any more than a grain of wheat. But if it is buried, it sprouts and reproduces itself many times over. In the same way, anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal.

26 "If any of you wants to serve me, then follow me. Then you'll be where I am, ready to serve at a moment's notice. The Father will honor and reward anyone who serves me.

27-28 "Right now I am storm-tossed. And what am I going to say? 'Father, get me out of this'? No, this is why I came in the first place. I'll say, 'Father, put your glory on display.'"

A voice came out of the sky: "I have glorified it, and I'll glorify it again."

29 The listening crowd said, "Thunder!"

Others said, "An angel spoke to him!"

30-33 Jesus said, "The voice didn't come for me but for you. At this moment the world is in crisis. Now Satan, the ruler of this world, will be thrown out. And I, as I am lifted up from the earth, will attract everyone to me and gather them around me." He put it this way to show how he was going to be put to death.

34 Voices from the crowd answered, "We heard from God's Law that the Messiah lasts forever. How can it be necessary, as you put it, that the Son of Man 'be lifted up'? Who is this 'Son of Man'?"

35-36 Jesus said, "For a brief time still, the light is among you. Walk by the light you have so darkness doesn't destroy you. If you walk in darkness, you don't know where you're going. As you have the light, believe in the light. Then the light will be within you, and shining through your lives. You'll be children of light."

There's so much in these 16 verses.

The first thing that strikes me is what Jesus says in verses 24 & 25:

anyone who holds on to life just as it is destroys that life. But if you let it go, reckless in your love, you'll have it forever, real and eternal.

I want to be like that - reckless in my love. I just got off the phone with my mother and I am always holding back; I give but in a very constrained manner. I'm afraid with my family that if I let go I'll just end up all used up and they will still be no better for it.

Oh Father, teach me how to let go. How to be reckless in my love and how to give away my life today.

There have been so many interruptions today that I'm just going to get going and I can finish this tomorrow.

Selfishness

I want to root out the selfishness in my heart and life. Lately as I've been going through the word I've repeatedly been conscious of how selfish I am - it's like my world revolves around me! I don't want to stay this way. For today I wanted to think about what Jesus had to say about His followers having to give up everything to follow Him. I've come across a famous passage where He talks about taking up our cross and following Him a few times during these past few weeks and desire to meditate on it. So I'm looking at this passage where it's recorded in 3 of the gospels and I'm checking it out in 3 translations/paraphrases:

Matthew 16: 24-26 (The Message) Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. "Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You're not in the driver's seat; I am. Don't run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I'll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for? Mark 8:34-37 (NIV) 34 Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 35 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me and for the gospel will save it. 36 What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his soul? 37 Or what can a man give in exchange for his soul? Luke 9:23-25 (NLT) 23 Then he said to the crowd, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must turn from your selfish ways, take up your cross daily, and follow me. 24 If you try to hang on to your life, you will lose it. But if you give up your life for my sake, you will save it. 25 And what do you benefit if you gain the whole world but are yourself lost or destroyed?

For me these words of Jesus are so contrary to my culture and nature. I always want to be in the driver's seat. Even in everyday life with my husband I find that I want to be the one who drives. I'm a person who thinks about things and has a plan and likes to be in charge in a not in the spotlight kind of way. I know God made me who I am so this is not bad but I need to let Him in control over me. It's that old Campus Crusade for Christ things where there's the picture of the throne and they ask you if it's Jesus or you on the throne of your life.

Oh dear God, I want You to be in the driver's seat. I want You to be on the throne and in charge of my life. Or, if I'm really transparent with both myself and You - I want to want this to the very core of my being, not just in some part of my head. And I gotta admit Lord that I'm afraid to ask You to make me want You in charge of my life with my whole being 'cuz I'm afraid that awful things will happen in my life to make me so. But You know what; I want You and to love You and be committed to You more than I want to be comfortable - so I give myself to You. Oh please work in my life so I desire You above everything.

Then there's this bit about not running from suffering but embracing it - now isn't that a crazy idea! It's basically my instinct to avoid suffering of any kind. I hate pain. But over and over in the scriptures I see this concept that God uses suffering to change us into who He wants us to become. Here's some scriptures that come to mind on this topic of suffering being for our good:

• James 5:9-11

9Friends, don't complain about each other. A far greater complaint could be lodged against you, you know. The Judge is standing just around the corner.

10-11Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You've heard, of course, of Job's staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That's because God cares, cares right down to the last detail.

• 1 Peter 2:18-20

You who are servants, be good servants to your masters—not just to good masters, but also to bad ones. What counts is that you put up with it for God's sake when you're treated badly for no good reason. There's no particular virtue in accepting punishment that you well deserve. But if you're treated badly for good behavior and continue in spite of it to be a good servant, that is what counts with God.

• 2 Thessalonians 1:3-10

3-4You need to know, friends, that thanking God over and over for you is not only a pleasure; it's a must. We have to do it. Your faith is growing phenomenally; your love for each other is developing wonderfully. Why, it's only right that we give thanks. We're so proud of you; you're so steady and determined in your faith despite all the hard times that have come down on you. We tell everyone we meet in the churches all about you.

5-10All this trouble is a clear sign that God has decided to make you fit for the kingdom. You're suffering now, but justice is on the way. When the Master Jesus appears out of heaven in a blaze of fire with his strong angels, he'll even up the score by settling accounts with those who gave you such a bad time. His coming will be the break we've been waiting for. Those who refuse to know God and refuse to obey the Message will pay for what they've done. Eternal exile from the presence of the Master and his splendid power is their sentence. But on that very same day when he comes, he will be exalted by his followers and celebrated by all who believe—and all because you believed what we told you.

• 1 Peter 5:8-11

Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.

• 1 Timothy 1:8-10

So don't be embarrassed to speak up for our Master or for me, his prisoner. Take your share of suffering for the Message along with the rest of us. We can only keep on going, after all, by the power of God, who first saved us and then called us to this holy work. We had nothing to do with it. It was all his idea, a gift prepared for us in Jesus long before we knew anything about it. But we know it now. Since the appearance of our Savior, nothing could be plainer: death defeated, life vindicated in a steady blaze of light, all through the work of Jesus.

These are just 5 passages, I could go on and on. It seems like hardship is a definite for sure - it will happen in our lives. Scripture indicates that sometimes it's because other people are not choosing to act as God would want, sometimes it's because Satan/his emissaries are attacking us, sometimes it's because this is just part of life on this planet. But the main thing I see is that suffering is not something that I am supposed to do everything in my power, live my life consumed with trying to avoid it. I also see a common theme that God uses suffering to make us into better people and that all suffering is only temporary. Of course this all sounds right and good until I, personally, am in pain.

Oh Father, work in my heart please and change me. Strengthen me, by Your grace give me the faith to trust You. Thank You so much for Your mercy and grace. Thank You for Your patience with someone like me.

Then there's this whole thing where Jesus says that we can get all the things we want for ourselves and then lose our true self. That there is nothing we could ever want that would be worth the cost of losing our soul. That self sacrifice is where it's really at - that self sacrifice is the pathway to find our true selves. So often I've seen this passage applied to eternal life and I believe that's a part of it but I also think Jesus was talking about present life. Somehow, in God's way of doing things, self sacrifice instead of seeking after stuff my way, helps me find my true self and experience peace and that sense of continuity.

Hummm.......I want to think more on this but I've got to get going for now. I think I'm going to write Matthew 16:24-26 out onto an index card and keep it in my purse for awhile to be able to think on it. I know that much more needs to change in my heart, mind and daily life.

Oh Thank You God for your word and Your goodness to me. Please continue to work in me and change me. Help me think on these things today and apply these concepts as situations come up.